Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
