Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
