he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
