And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
