i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
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