Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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