I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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