Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
