I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
