He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
