Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
