Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
