Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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