i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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