it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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