Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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