After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
