the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
