My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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