I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Less talking, more tequila
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
