The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
