Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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