are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
