I have demons in me.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
