Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
