i don't like sucking hair
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
