I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
