another moral hangover. fuck.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
