Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
