Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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