I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
