if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
