part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
