My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize