Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
