Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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