please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
you never un-have a 4some
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize