Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize