okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize