they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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