HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You work out of a Hotel?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
