yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
