last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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