I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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