the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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