I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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