Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
