You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
