I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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