I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
