That's intense
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
