i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
