Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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