Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
