She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she woke up with a sticky ear
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
