Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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