Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
